I ain’t afraid of lady drivers

I have my stories to tell, and you have yours for sure.  I once witnessed a lady-driven Golf GTi painfully attempting L parking at Volkswagen PJ service center.  Someone in the showroom couldn’t take it any more, and helped her park it.  I almost Youtube’d it but didn’t want to hurt her feelings any further.  I had witnessed a woman, after millions of minute adjustment, navigated her car up a curb.  That car, oh my god,  was a Smart ForTwo. And I was nearly hit by a woman changing lane without giving signals.  

But hey, women are safer drivers, right?  Not entirely. According to several studies I have read when researching for this article, women crash MORE OFTEN than men.  BUT men are MORE LIKELY to get killed in an accident because of higher speed and riskier maneuver.  So the scenario goes like, man speeding.  Woman changes lane without giving signal.  Man avoids, crashes and dies.  Woman doesn’t even realize there’s anything wrong, and later hits a pole when parking.

Statistically speaking, women are just slightly more likely to crash.  Compared to Malaysian motorcyclist who run red lights on hourly basis and drive in reverse directions of the road, lady drivers are hardly threatening on the road.  

Now, It’s lady passengers that I’m afraid of.

For reasons unknown, once a woman gets into your passengers seat, she’d commission herself to become your nanny navigator.  

“You’re going too fast.”  Once you slow down, she’d command, “So slow.  Go overtake that car.” 

“Here’s a parking spot.  No, wait, there’s another one there.  And there too.  Oh, it’s up to you.”  When you have parked, she’d complain, “Why do you have to park so far away from the entrance?”

It’s usually not a good idea to have women giving directions.  They could say left, but actually mean right.  To avoid having to differentiate left from right, a woman may point instead, and say “turn this way.”  But the problem is, you’re looking ahead when driving.  You have no idea where she’s pointing.  

At the end of the day, she concludes: “Oh, you’re an awful driver.”  What she doesn’t realize is, such criticism is almost as damaging as “I’d rather do it with a pencil.”

Come to think of it, perhaps guys drive faster and riskier precisely because they have a female passenger on board.  You can almost hear him wailing: “oh my god, this is torture, get it over with already!” while he steps on the throttle.  

You’d think the best policy would be to let the women drive.  But they will refuse.  And then you are labeled as an un-gentlemanly pig-head.

Recently,  I was one of the passengers  in a car driven by an auntie. The other passengers were all aunties. I kept my mouth shut and observed. When  they  arrived at  a parking  spot, they  actually held a  round table meeting  about where and how to park. It was friendly.  Nobody in the car felt irritated.  But I couldn’t say the same for the cars queuing behind us.

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