Eunuch Roadsters

I cannot comprehend Boxsters with fixed hard-tops. MX-5 and Elise too. Roadsters are to be driven top-down whenever possible. I can sympathize with drivers, especially ladies, who use roadsters daily and prioritize safety. But most people don’t drive their roadsters daily. So why buy a , and then castrate it? Why not get a coupe from the very beginning?

What other people do to their cars is really none of my business. But I can’t help feeling it’s a pity when I see a good, fun car wasted. Hours of engineering effort invested to make a convenient roof and to balance the car, wasted. What are their complaints about soft-tops, really? I can answer them with authority, because I believe the hours I’ve spent driving top-down in a year are more than all Malaysian and Singaporean roadster owners combined. (If you’re interested in the math, it’s about 1 hour daily, for about 300 days in a year)

  1. “The soft-top is noisy.” Of course it is. Common sense, isn’t it? Get a Benz.
  2. “Our weather changes. It might rain.” That’s why there’s a button for you to open and close the roof. Who ask you to open it when raining, moron?
  3. “Someone might slash my soft-top.” It’s actually easier to break your window. Crooks are more well-trained and well-equipped to break windows than to slash soft-tops, simply because there are more windows to break than soft-tops to slash. Furthermore, soft-top cars have windows too. So just one set of tools for breaking windows can tackle all makes of cars…. Well, you get the idea. It’s just irrational fear.
  4. “Soft-top cars are not practical.” Being practical is what your OTHER cars do. You got this one for fun and showing off, remember?
  5. “The smoke and pollution on the road…” Refer to #2.

Well, what other people do to their cars is really none of my business. Some people drive sports cars on circuits to explore their fullest potentials. Some drive their castrated roadsters 20km/h in traffic jam to make sure everybody sees them and their beautiful passengers — but what’s the use, eunuchs have no balls anyway.

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