What if your birthday isn’t really (just) about you?

"Why do humans celebrate a day that they cannot even remember?" Lieutenant Commander Data asks Will Riker In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Why indeed? You are the single most important person to yourself. It seems logical that you would want to celebrate a day that you have come into being, even though you cannot recall anything about it. But some people think that they are the most important people to the world, not just to themselves. And they even halt the GDP of the entire nation to celebrate.

While they indulge in their super-sized ego, nobody really complains about extra holidays. It just led me into pondering, if you are celebrating your own birthday, why do you feel lonely and depressed when nobody remembers your birthday and nobody is there to celebrate with you? You ought to be pretty content buying your own cake, counting your own candles, singing your own song, blowing out the candles and having the entire cake all by yourself. But you’re not. In fact, if you do all of the above alone, the next thing you will do could well be jumping out of the window.

So maybe your birthday isn’t just about yourself. It is really about the people around you. It’s a day THEY celebrate. Not just you. THEY celebrate the day you come into being because you are such an important person in their lives. Because you have contributed yourself to the relationship, friendship and fellowship. You are a significant member in the circle. You make people around you happier. Your birthday is your evaluation day. You think about what you have done for your family, for your friends, for your colleagues, for your customers, for your community, for your country, for the world.

So if somebody doesn’t celebrate your birthday, you probably don’t play a significant role in his or her life. You need to reflect on your contribution to the relationship or friendship, should you think that he or she ought to be celebrating the day with you together. If absolutely nobody wants to celebrate your birthday, it’s a way of telling you that you’re a complete jerk.

Now I understand why nobody cares when it’s my birthday.